Eloping has had a bad rap for long enough.
After years of shooting big weddings I’ve seen the good, the bad, and the ugly and really sentiments about weddings and elopements are all a matter of opinion. I’ve gathered some of the worse things people have said about eloping and I’m arguing their validity right here. Eloping is a beautiful thing, don’t ever let anyone else tell you otherwise. And if you need a definition, we write all about it here.
“ELOPING WOULD HURT MY FAMILY.”
Why? You can bring your family. You can elope with whomever your heart desires. If you would like to elope with your family, do it. Do you want to elope with your dogs? Do it! If you’d like to elope with just the two of you, do it. Eloping means bringing whoever is most important to you to celebrate your union. For us, it means bringing your VIP, only the people who would feel the gravity of that moment upon them, those who would understand the deepness of your vows because they just know you. Those are the people who matter, those are the people worth sharing your celebration with.
“ELOPING MEANS YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR WEDDING.”
Lies.
This statement is bullshit.
First off, eloping is just another way to marry the love of your life. That means you define what your elopement will be, nobody else does. The fact that you’re thinking outside of the box and choosing to do something else for the two of you means you care about your wedding just as much as the couple who chooses to do all the very stressful things we just mentioned, maybe even more. It means you’re celebrating in a worthy fashion whether it’s elaborate or minimalistic, or fun-filled or serious, it’s your day and it means the world to you so choosing what YOU want to do, means you VALUE your wedding.
“YOU CAN ONLY ELOPE AT THE COURTHOUSE.”
Not true.
Eloping can happen just about anywhere. We got married in the middle of nowhere in a cove, off the Colorado River in the middle of the desert where the desert meets the water. Along with our 10 or so friends we brought along our own officiant and made it official right there. We signed our papers on the hood of our Dodge Durango and rode off into the sunset. The truth is you can elope anywhere, especially with us. We have a team of officiants who can marry you in whatever location you like. There are even states that don’t require an officiant to make it official.
“PEOPLE WHO CAN’T AFFORD A BIG WEDDING ELOPE.”
I can’t believe some of the things I hear about elopements, including this one. I’ve had many a client come to me saying, “I don’t want to do a big wedding anymore. Let’s just elope.” and it didn’t have anything to do with the money. Comparing big weddings and elopements is like comparing apples and oranges. You can have a big wedding and it can break the bank, you can elope and break the bank, too. The truth about elopements is that it has nothing to do with money. It has everything to do with your mindset. Most of our couples love dancing and drinking as much as our former big wedding couples. But they enjoy other things way more than that. We’ve had couples who had week-long adventures. Other couples take a few hours to have a quick adventure to say, I do. It’s all about preference, never about money. Just like I’ve said, you can have an elaborate elopement with all the bells and whistles. An elopement is a blank canvas awaiting your creative touch.
“ELOPING IS SO ANTICLIMACTIC.”
Again, this is a battle of definitions. People think the height of eloping is just going through some drive-thru window but, eloping can be so much more.
Eloping can be a week-long vacation with lots of sightseeing in a place you’ve never been to.
Eloping can be a camping trip. Eloping can be reading letters to each other on a road trip at a bunch of national parks.
Eloping can be skydiving, or kayaking, or mountain climbing.
It can anything.
It’s really your choice as to how climactic or anticlimactic it will be. And just to be clear one person’s definition of a climactic event won’t define another’s. It’s all a matter of opinion. Elopements can be exciting, fun, and climactic because you’re planning them and adding all of the elements that fit you to your timeline.
“ELOPING IS BORING.”
YOU define fun. What does fun mean to you? Does it mean discovering new places? Or maybe it means rock climbing, or hiking, or sailing, or vacationing, or whatever else you like to do for fun. Guess what? You can celebrate your elopement by doing it.
“PEOPLE WHO AREN’T CREATIVE ELOPE.”
The most imaginative people I’ve dealt with elope. It takes a special couple to decide that the big wedding template isn’t for them. It takes creativity and lots of thought to plan a timeline for an elopement. Mainly because it brings the couple back to themselves instead of the obligations of their guests. Elopement planning is an act of reaffirming why you’re getting married and the reasons you love each other so much.
“YOU JUST CAN’T DO TOO MUCH WHEN YOU ELOPE.”
I assume when I heard this, that it meant that when you elope, you can’t have all the details you want. Or maybe they meant you can’t celebrate the way you want, or in some way eloping is limiting. I daresay that eloping is the complete opposite. When you decide to elope, you’re deciding to strictly bring only the items and the people you deem worthy of celebrating such a special occasion. You choose how long your elopement lasts. As a couple, you choose what vendors are most important to you. You choose the activities to celebrate your marriage. The options are limitless when you allow your desires to take the wheel, rather than dealing with tradition or the opinion of your family and friends.
“ELOPING IS IMPERSONAL.”
Any celebration of love can be impersonal if there isn’t any thought put into it. But this is the assumption: Eloping is impersonal because nobody thinks it through. Just because elopement still echoes in the ears of old timers as negative and illicit does not mean that that’s what it is. In essence, eloping is a very personal decision, one which goes against the grain for many. Eloping is a decision that involves a lot of thought and love. There is not one couple who eloped with us who said the words, “ugh, so glad it’s over, wish we had a big wedding,” but I’ve heard, “ugh, so glad it’s over, wish we would’ve eloped,” from so many of our big wedding couples. The reason might be because big weddings tend to put a strain on a couple. They become emotionally untied to the thought of the big wedding because it has become impersonal, something they’re doing for their guest and not themselves.
“ELOPING MEANS YOU’RE EITHER PREGNANT, BROKE, OR NOBODY LIKES YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER.”
It’s 2023, we’re really still doing this? Firstly, I eloped in June 2020 and none of these things applied. I’m not pregnant nor am I broke, and everyone who loves me loves Fabian. Secondly, even if any of these things are true, marriage is a very personal decision, a decision that should be made by two madly in love, consenting, ready and willing, like minded individuals.
Fuck what everyone else may think.
If at any point in your life you feel somebody should be judging you or have any say in your life, it damn sure shouldn’t be about the person you marry. It is YOUR decision to be attached to someone for the rest of your life.
