How to Write Your Wedding Vows

How to Write Your Vows

Just like there are a million ways to get married, there are a million ways to write your wedding vows.

Trust me, I was an English major, but you don’t have to be to write dope wedding vows you’ll want to print for wall art or encase in epoxy or whatever people are doing nowadays to preserve these memories.

So how do you start your wedding vows? Here’s a list of things your wedding vows SHOULD BE…

Original – You don’t need to write quotes from famous people, or even the Bible. Speak in your voice.
Honest – These are your vows to your person, only you two matter at this moment. Tell your person what they mean to you and be real. With that being said, let’s go through a few good ways to write your vows and capture all the emotionality and hilarity of your bond. I promise you’ll definitely make your partner cry even if they say they won’t.

1. Keep a log.

So this is the long game for writing your vows. If you do find yourself frantically writing them right before you meet them on a mountain to say them, you’ll have plenty of material to work with. Not only is this special, but it’s a good way to remember all the good times that didn’t involve pictures or video. And it’s especially nice for when those hard times come in marriage.

How to do it- Keep a log on your phone or even more romantic, keep a diary you write in specifically with these memories. Your entries don’t have to be long.

What to write – Write about the things you value in your relationship. Whether that’s how they make you laugh, or how they love you in ways you’ve never been loved before, or how they make you feel, it’s going to be different for every person. The good stuff is great, but the bad stuff is still valuable. For example, how you react when there’s a fight, how you recover from disagreements, how you compromise are all great things to make note of and put in your vows. For example- Every day you do a load of laundry. I never have to worry about having clean underwear, they just appear on our bed every night, clean and ready to fold.

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2. Incorporate your favorite stories about your future life partner.

You probably have a handful of memories that just get you every time you think about them. Include them. Since your vows are about you both and how you’ve connected and how you’ll stay connected, these memories serve as a beautiful reminder of that.

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3. Make promises.

All good vows come with promises that the couple makes to each other. You don’t have to use the vows that you’ll repeat during your ceremony (’til death do us part, through sickness and health, etc.), these promises can be funny (I promise to use my C PAP machine every night so you don’t have to endure my snoring), super personal (I promise to watch Real Housewives of Atlanta with you), or just super honest (I promise I’ll try to keep my hands to myself when you pass me by in a sexy outfit).

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4. Consider the things that bother you about your partner.

Stay with me. I know it might not sound super romantic but it’s honest. There will be things that bother you about your spouse. Make light of those things, but let them know in the same breath that those things will never get in the way of your love for them. Who said writing vows had to be totally serious anyway?

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5. Include something they may not have known about your relationship, or a way they made you feel in your relationship.

On many occasions, I’ve been surprised by small details that Fabian shares with me about time we shared together. You can plant small surprises like this in your vows. Your partner will be pleasantly surprised by the small details you either remember or took care of without them knowing.

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6. Include vows to bonus children, pets, or anyone else you may be responsible for as you enter this marriage.

When you enter into marriage you may be entering into a whole family. Make sure to include them to make it extra special. Whether you mention your soon to be step-children, pets, or anyone else you may be responsible to once you’re married, it’s definitely a special touch to make vows to them as well.

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7. If you can't find the words for your wedding vows, steal 'em.

I might have initially said to keep it original but you know what sometimes you just don’t have the words. Nobody said you can’t use someone else’s words for your vows. Maybe you’re not sure how to express your love. That’s ok. Borrow words and phrases from songs, poetry, your favorite book. As an English major, though, I advise you to credit your resources. You know, to avoid plagiarism and all, but nobody’s going to penalize you if you don’t.

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8. You know your partner's desires and goals, include them.

You’re about to be one of the biggest parts of their lives so you know what makes them tick, what their dreams and goals are. Since you’re going to be a big part of those goals and dreams, promise you’ll do your part to make them happen. You will always be their facilitator and support system, and since this is a given it’s one of the easier things to add when writing your wedding vows.

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9. Talk About the Small Stuff

Talk about how their nose crinkles when you make them laugh. Mention their weekly haircut that makes you want to jump their bones. Talk about how they place their hand on your thigh when they’re driving. Anything that you take notice of in your partner, talk about it. It says a lot about your observations of them and hones in on the things that make your love so unique. In adding this to your vows, you are strengthening your bond and solidifying your legacy of love.

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10. Learn Their Language Or Add Elements of Your "Language"

Firstly, learning your partner’s language is pure love. Even if it’s just in your vows it goes a long way and shows your effort to knowing and loving them in every way. If your partner doesn’t speak another language, add elements of the language you speak together on a daily basis. If you don’t think you have a language together, think about the ways you communicate, you’ll find something. And even if you have people at your ceremony who don’t understand, who cares? These vows are for you two, not them.

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Combine any of these elements to write your vows and in the end you’ll have something totally heartfelt and sincere that will make your future spouse melt.

Places to Write Your Vows Other Than Your Phone

I know having your vows on your phone is probably super convenient, but I promise your photographer will love you if you choose any of the following to write your vows

Vow books
On the empty pages of a book you’ll gift to them after (Hit a used book store or even just find a book on Amazon).
A journal.
A scroll.
An old concert ticket/receipt or anything that has sentimental value.

It doesn’t matter how you write your vows or what you write in them, just remember who you’re writing them for (your future spouse). Don’t overthink it, they’re marrying you either way. And if you need more information on getting married, eloping, or destination elopements, please reach out below.