I know wedding planning can be hard but I’m about to make it hella easy with my 10 secrets to planning the best wedding day ever. Keep reading if you’re excited to plan a wedding day all about you and your soon to be spouse!
1. Weddings do not have to be stressful.
They’re stressful because the word wedding is filled with expectations you feel you must fulfill for whatever reason. You don’t.
You don’t have to do things you don’t want to do for your wedding.
Choose to only do the things you want to do for your wedding.
Deal with ONLY the people you truly want to deal with on your wedding day.
Only have the elements that are most important to you on your wedding day.
Know that you can get married literally anywhere. It doesn’t have to be in a church or a chapel. It can be outside on a public street in front of your favorite wall mural downtown or in the great outdoors, or with your toes in the sand at your favorite beach.
2. This day is literally just about 2 people – yourself and your partner.
This is YOUR wedding. A lot of people will have you believe it doesn’t belong to you, that it must be traditional and must make everyone happy.
People will have expectations of you, people close to you.
I urge you to realize these expectations are part of a social construct that doesn’t have anything to do with your wedding or your love. For years, weddings have always been a thing that family has participated in, in a lot of cultures it still is. But love and marriage are incredibly personal and exclusive. Not to mention, people will always project their desires and insecurities upon you. What they’re telling you is what they want/wanted for themselves and their wedding. They’re reflecting their own expectations on you. Don’t fall into the trap.
The only two people this is really, really about is you and your partner. Literally.
3. Wedding traditions and etiquette are irrelevant.
Did you know that brides and bridesmaids of the past used bouquets of flowers because people didn’t shower regularly and they wanted to smell good for their weddings?
Did you know that brides had bridesmaids to confuse evil spirits that might come to the wedding to curse the bride?
Are you aware that almost all of those fancy wedding invitations that you’re planning on sending will be thrown away?
Alright look, I’m not saying don’t have all of these things, what I’m saying is these things that are “traditional” probably don’t have a deep rooted personal significance to you nor your family. Just because they’re traditional wedding things doesn’t mean you must include them in your wedding.
Why do you need everyone’s permission to enjoy your spouse? You had tens of thousands of dollars to begin with. Choose to spend that on you and your spouse.
4. Don’t let anyone’s attitudes about YOUR day affect you. Do YOU.
Having been a wedding photographer and planner for about 9 years, I learned about this anomaly that happens about the time when everyone gets their invitation. People closest to you will start to lose their minds. They’ll start telling you what you should and should not do for your wedding. Fuck them. See number 1, 2, AND 3.
5. $10k can be a lot or a little. You choose.
The reality is that big weddings are expensive. Your bigger expenses will come from venue rental and food, two things you need less of when your guestlist diminishes to your most exclusive VIP. So instead of renting a venue to fit and feed a bunch of people, reframe your idea of what a wedding can be.
| Big Wedding Expenses | Elopement Expenses |
6. Drop your expectations. None of your wedding has to be what you’ve seen before, not even on Pinterest.
While Pinterest shows you a small sample of what your wedding could look like, and Google shows you what a bunch of wedding professionals are saying are the best things for weddings, they don’t know you, they know trends.
Your love is not a trend. Half the things they say you need, you don’t.
7. Know that nobody gives a shit about your wedding, they don’t have to. But you should.
Yes, you have bridesmaids and groomsmen and family, but just because you’re getting married doesn’t mean they should care. Everyone has their own lives.
Essentially, you’re asking people to celebrate something that’s incredibly personal and exclusive to you. They aren’t required to be excited. YOU ARE. See #2.
8. Don’t skimp on the stuff you truly treasure.
I’ve had couples leave their fur babies at home because the venue wouldn’t allow them. I’ve had couples put money into flowers because their family said they should. This purchase took away from their videographer budget leaving them with flowers but no videographer, which they really, really wanted. I know couples who took a few days off their honeymoon because their families added guests last minute. Don’t be these people. Every single one of them regretted it.
Spend your money on the things you really want. Everything else is just fluff and isn’t required to be there, because this is YOUR wedding! Nobody else’s.
Check out our definition of elopement here.
9. Don’t stress the small stuff.
The little details like who’s going to walk who down the aisle if the number of bridesmaids and groomsmen I have are not the same?
Look, it’s your wedding, there is no wrong answer for anything. They could do a whole ass Soul Train line down the aisle one at a time and the most anybody would be is entertained. Seriously. As your photographer, I would love that.
The things you are worried about are things that people will see as awesome memories, things that make your wedding your wedding.
My client asked if she could do her first dance right after their “I do’s” and then dance with her dad. I ecstatically exclaimed, “Hell yes! I’ll bring the speaker.”
This is your day. All of the these decisions are your own. There is no right or wrong a secret of wedding planning nobody will tell you.
10. The world is your oyster, you can do anything for your wedding.
We’ve traveled for weddings around the world for people who live within our zip code. People have come to us from different countries to get married a few miles from our own home. They’ve ridden sports cars, and motorcycles, and planes, trains, and sealiners to get married. They’ve hiked miles and miles through the desert in full on formal gear to share their vows quietly cradled within a canyon. Our clients scale large rocks along the coast, brave camping in the wilderness, croon to acoustic guitar classics around the campfire. They’ve eaten fancy ass meals, and enjoyed nights of singing in a piano bar on the sea. They hire personal chefs and buy small business.
